I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
