After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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