i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
