Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
