My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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