Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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