I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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