Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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