Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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