I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
