sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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