I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
