brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She even gives head with a lisp.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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