So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
