It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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