This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize