Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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