Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
