I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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