You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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