Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
