Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
