why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
