The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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