Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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