I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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