PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
