would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
there is glitter all over my balls
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
