I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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