i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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