You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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