Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
