I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize