You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
