I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
