Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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