The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
