This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
