If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
