just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
