i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
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