your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It's Friday. Sex?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
