The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
