Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
