Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Can I color on your dick again?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
