I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
