After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just gargled with NyQuil
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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