I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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