Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
