I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
