Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
