I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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