Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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