And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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