Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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