But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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