We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
