dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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