I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
