You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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